Why can’t I write a book review without checking others first?
and how can someone's unique experience with a book overwrite my own so easily?
Whenever I finish a book I eagerly track it on my Goodreads account. After all, did I actually read the book if I did not in some manner track it? I don’t berate myself for this fact by the way, my neurodivergent brain thrives on gameifying life. If it gets me to do something, I’ll track until my heart’s content, give me all those sweet stats.
Note here that I only track the book, I give it a star rating (usually too high) and move on to tracking my next. I never, ever write a review.
I spend the whole book highlighting, jotting down notes and feeling my mind broaden as I analyse it. It sets my brain into a creative frenzy, I step away from feeling like someone who reads a book to being part of something bigger, someone who truly sees the book and understands to some extent what it means from the author’s perspective.
But, I cannot write a review.
The fear of standing out
The truth is I’m too frightened to write a review, because habitually I finish the book, check my reading challenge stats (currently 5 books behind, if you were wondering) and then promptly scroll to the reviews. I see where I had over-enthusiastically given the book I just read a 4-5 star rating, others had barely given it a 1-2 star. And I feel a rising sense of shame, surely a person who claims to ‘truly see the book and understand the perspective’ shouldn’t be giving a book such a high rating when so many others did not.
The only possible outcome here is that I was wrong, I am not that good at reading books and I probably should just enjoy them quietly to not embarrass myself.
Therefore, all those swirling thoughts, carefully highlighted excerpts and unique point of views are just left in the corner of my brain to gather dust.
I realise this must to some people seem ridiculous, but when I put on my rational brain (a rarity), I know that every person who reads a book is allowed a unique experience. That’s what I love about books, we’re all creating different visuals when we imagine the words play out in our minds. How incredible is that?
So, why then do I need to make sure my unique experience is at a level with others? And in turn how many others are also letting reviews dictate how they write their review?
Seasoned critics probably write their reviews in isolation, which truly is the only way to write a rich and unique summary of their thoughts. How I envy them. To be able to just put out these thoughts into the world without the fear they have read the entire thing wrong (despite there actually being no wrong way to read).
Is society to blame?
As with most things, it’s easy to blame some societal shifts, such as the main culprit, of course, social media. There’s an argument that we’re unable to have truly unique experiences because we’re all consuming from others, constantly. We all go to the same restaurants we saw on Instagram, ordering the same dish to snap and drinking the same photogenic cocktail right?
It’s the same with books, I can hold my own hands up here and tell you what I read is based on algorithms. And I do not hate that.
The few ways I choose books consist of - trusted influencers (I’m looking at you Kate Spiers, Chloe Plumstead, Jodie Rogers & Pandora Sykes), getting on the literary cool-girl side of TikTok (no ACOTAR here, sorry), Kindle recommendations based on my reading, seeing cool book covers in bookshops or my sister (the OG influencer in my life).
It works for me, the things I read, I mostly love and I’ve got to an age where I know what type of books to avoid. But, I do sometimes wonder what it would be like to choose a book without in some way being told what to read, and whether my taste would still remain or be utterly different.
But, despite everyone reading the same books, that shouldn’t change the way we view them or what our experience is. The likeliness of you having the exact same thoughts, emotions or views as another on an individual book must be rare right?
Reintroducing trust in yourself
If your review is wildly different from the masses, what does it matter? There isn’t actually a conformity police, who track down those who stand outside the lines with their wavering star choices and point of view. People can disagree, and that’s a good thing, this is where interesting conversations and debates can start. Maybe you’ll open a few eyes to some parts they missed and in turn, they can too for you.
It all boils down to confidence, a trust that you know best what you enjoy and don’t enjoy. The confidence that you understand your experience with a book is allowed to be different from another. Also, whilst you might not feel confident with the act of reviewing something, the more you flex those muscles, the easier it will get.
I guess I had better start trusting myself to write a review after reading now. Thankfully I’ve only just read the first 17 pages of a new book, so I have a moment to gather myself for this new venture.
I’d love to know whether you review a book after reading it and if you suffer through the same struggles of wobbly confidence.
Also, if you enjoyed this post, I’d love it if you could share or restack it to reach others. Thank you!
Speak soon, Allie ☁️
Found this such an interesting read Allie! I nodded along the whole way.
I quite enjoy writing book reviews and often find that my star rating and written review are at complete odds with each other 😂 My stars are on a sliding scale of personal enjoyment/would I recommend, while the review will usually recap what I particularly liked or hated, along with a few bits surrounding personal taste.
And, after being suckered into ACOTAR – absolutely hated it – and a few other ‘viral’ books, I am completely committed to my own tastes only these days! I like reading blind to others’ tastes, then find reading others’ reviews and content a nice little secondary excursion hahah.